ATTEMPTED - Chapter 04

Zander's eyes fluttered open at the sound of Emily's voice. He stared silently at her, taking in her tired expression and sad smile. He turned away, not wanting her pity. "Leave me alone," he croaked out.

Emily reached for the water cup. "Here, drink this," she said as she held the straw to his lips. Zander reluctantly took a sip and cleared his parched throat. He turned back to look at her. "Thanks. You can go now. I don't need to be your pity project, too."

Emily was confused by that statement. "Pity project? What are you talking about?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Baby, I could never pity you. I love you."

"No you don't. You love HIM. I read it with my own eyes."

"You didn't read the whole passage, Zander. I was just thinking out loud, wondering if the kiss meant anything. But it didn't. Nikolas was just some childish fantasy, but you are my forever love. Please believe me."

As much as Zander wanted to accept what she was telling him, he just couldn't. "You have lied to me too many times, Em. I don't know if I'll ever believe a word you say again." He shut his eyes, wanting to block her out the only way he could.

Emily felt like she had been slapped. She never thought that trying to protect the man she loved would get so out of control. "I understand," she said sadly. "I'll go. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for hurting you. And I will never give up on us. Somehow I will make this all up to you."

Zander felt his heart constrict. It pained him to hear the tears in her voice. He didn't reply, but a part of him was hopeful. When he opened his eyes again she was gone.

***

Emily was rounding the corner when Elizabeth spotted her. "Hey, Em. How's Zander doing? I heard what happened and couldn't believe it. How are you holding up?" She held out her hand and pulled Emily into a hug before they moved to the waiting area.

"He's really angry at me. I feel so guilty even though it's probably conceited to think that it was my fault he did this."

"I'm sure there were a lot of other factors in this, Em. He was living without you just fine for two years, if that makes you feel any better."

"But he wasn't fine. He called me several times while I was gone, but I wouldn't take his calls. When I finally did, I made up some story about a new boyfriend so he would go on with his life. I heard bits and pieces from other people about what was going on with him. He was making more stupid choices and getting into more trouble. Then a year later he gets high and calls me again like everything's fine. It was really scary. If I hadn't been in the middle of a treatment I would've hopped the next flight out here. Did something else happen that I don't know about?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. He said something weird to me just now, something about not wanting to be my pity project. Does that make any sense to you?"

Elizabeth went pale and tried to catch her breath. "He said pity project? Those were his exact words?"

"Yeah..." Emily could see this conversation was making her friend uncomfortable. "You know what he's talking about, don't you?"

"Oh, God, Em. I never told you. I didn't think it was important... no, that's not true. I was just so ashamed. I was hoping I would never have to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Emily was getting nervous.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, knowing that what she was about to tell Emily might cost her their friendship. "Remember last summer when I got kidnapped and Zander basically saved my life in that crypt? Well, the experience really brought us closer together and we bacame friends. I sort of came to rely on him. Anyway, one night there was this storm and I got locked in the stairwell and Zander saved me again. He brought me back to my place and I practically begged him to stay the night and we ended up sleeping together. I'm so sorry, Em."

Emily was livid. "You slept with Zander? You knew I was still in love with him! You didn't stop to think 'Hey, I'm about to shag my best friend's ex!' or that I'd care?"

"Em, it didn't mean anything. We were both just lonely and in need of comfort."

"Whatever happened to a friendly hug? That's usually how people comfort each other!" Emily tried to calm down. Their conversation had gotten off track. "So what happened after that?"

Elizabeth stared at her hands, unable to meet Emily's accusing glare. "Zander had been missing you so much and was looking for someone to replace what he had lost with you. I think he was hoping that our relationship was the start of something. I didn't have the heart to tell him any different, so I sort of strung him along for a little while. Finally, he realized that my heart belonged to Jason and that I was just being nice to him. I hurt him, Em. He told me that as much as I hated being Lucky's pity project, he hated being mine. He's such a great guy and I was too selfish to notice what I was doing to him." She felt her eyes stinging with tears. "Please tell me you forgive me, that we still have a friendship."

Emily thought for a moment. "I know that Zander and I were broken up at the time and I hadn't given any signs of going back to him, but you could've told me sooner."

"Do you hate me?"

Emily sighed heavily. "No, I don't hate you. If anyone can understand about wanting to protect Zander, it's me. At least I understand why he said that to me. He thinks I pity him, that I would rather be with Nikolas, but am going to him out of guilt or something. He doesn't want to see me right now, so I'm just gonna go home."

"Well, I was on my way to see him... that is, if he doesn't throw me out, too. If he does listen to me, I'll put in a good word for you, okay?"

"Okay," Emily chuckled sadly. "So, how did you two become friends again after that?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and recounted the events after Zander got amnesia and hid out with her and Jason. "After his memory came back we talked about what happened between us. He understood what I was going through because he was still in love with you, too. He realized that we were better off as friends. And he's been a great friend, Em. I don't know how I would've gotten through the last year without him. I just can't believe he did this. I thought he had it all together, ya know?"

"I know. If you find out anything else from him will you let me know?"

"Sure. And I'm really glad you're not mad at me. I love you, Em."

Emily hugged her friend. "I love you, too." She watched Elizabeth walk away and felt a bit of misplaced jealousy rise to the surface.


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