ATTEMPTED - Chapter 03

Cameron watched his son sleep. He seemed so calm and peaceful. Or maybe he was just delirious. Alexis came in with some coffee and placed it on the side table.

"He woke up for a minute."

"He did?" Alexis walked over to Zander's bed and placed a comforting hand on Cameron's shoulder as she reached down and stroked Zander's hair. "Did he say anything?"

"I fell asleep for a bit and woke up to the sound of him crying. When I went over he had this heartwrenching pain in his eyes. I almost couldn't speak, but I managed to tell him that I loved him. He seemed to relax after that and then drifted off again."

Alexis looked down at Zander's face. He looked like a little boy and all she wanted to do was take him in her arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay. As much as she wanted to be near her daughter at the Quartermaines, there was nothing that would take her away from Zander's side at this moment. For all intents and purposes, he was her son and she wanted to make sure he knew that. She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead then whispered in his ear, "Lipstick kiss," before reaching out to wipe it off.

"What did you say?"

"Lipstick kiss. It's something silly I always do with Kristina."

Cameron smiled as his eyes welled with tears. "His mother used to do that to him when he was a baby." He closed his eyes, remembering happier times. "He was such a good kid... until I messed him up." He let the tears fall as Alexis pulled him into a loving embrace. "Cameron, he's going to get through this. It's going to be all right. And he is still a good kid. He just needs to be reminded of that."

***

The next morning Zander awoke to find his father and Alexis curled up together on some chairs next to his bed. He was confused at first until he remembered waking up the night before. He lifted his arms slightly to stare at the bandages on his wrists. He wasn't upset or angry anymore. He just felt numb. Maybe it was the medication or maybe he was just tired. He sensed movement and turned his head slightly to find Alexis gazing back at him. Suddenly he felt ashamed and shut his eyes against the concerned look on her face.

"Zander," she breathed. Careful not to wake Cameron, she moved closer to the bed. She wanted to speak with him without him worrying about his father overhearing. "Sweetie, everything's going to be all right. I'll make sure of it." She stroked his hair as she spoke gently. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I've been so caught up in my own problems that I haven't even noticed anything else going on around me. But that's going to change. You are just as important to me as my daughter. I want you to know that. I'm here now and I always will be. I love you, Zander. I love you."

Zander listened to Alexis' soothing words but kept his eye closed. A few tears escaped and he felt her brush them away. "Alexis," he choked out and then sobbed quietly as she leaned her cheek to his forehead, whispering words of comfort as if to a small child. "Shhh... it's okay, sweetie. It's okay."

Cameron watched silently as Alexis comforted his son. He longed to have such a relationship with him, to be the father Alexander deserved and should have had growing up. His guilt and shame kept him silent, allowing Alexis to be the one his son could turn to. He feigned sleep until he heard his son quiet again. He opened his eyes when Alexis sat next to him. "He's very lucky to have you."

"You heard?"

"Yeah."

"I've never seen him like this, Cameron. I always thought he was so strong and brave, but it was all an act. He's just a scared little kid on the inside."

"Just like all the rest of us."

Alexis and Cameron held each other close, vowing to support Zander in every way they could. He would need them both to be strong for him during his recovery.

"I thought I might find you here," Emily said as she peeked in. "I brought coffee and juice if you're interested."

"Thanks," Alexis noticed how exhausted Emily looked. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

"Not really. I tried, but kept waking up thinking of all the things I could've done differently. I know it does no good to dwell on the past, but I just feel so guilty. All he's ever wanted was honesty. He told me time and time again and I didn't listen. I was so selfish."

"We all were," Cameron interrupted. "But now is the time to rally around Alexander and let him know how much we love him and vow to never make the same mistakes again." He got up to stretch and gratefully accepted the coffee for himself and Alexis.

Alexis took the coffee and smiled at her young friend. "Be strong for him, Emily. Zander is not himself right now. Don't let it shake you. Tell him we'll be back soon." Emily nodded as they walked out. She sat on the stool next to him. She noticed his tearstained cheeks and stroked them lovingly. "Hi, baby. It's me. You probably don't want to see me right now, but I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me."


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